Chuck Norris Jokes

Every body likes Chuck Norris jokes 'Cause they are freaken halarious

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he understands is the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds...Walk and Kill.

AIDS was specifically designed to kill Chuck Norris. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin islands. Now there just the islands.

Chuck norris destroys whole continents. Ever heard of Atlantis? nuff said

Devil didn't go down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal. Chuck Norris came down to hell and told him to get the **** out



thay're so funny they make me laugh and cry at the same time

Let's see. I've got to bring the hurting

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

BURN!

Your on fire drakokirby

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why thereare no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Now your ashes drakokirby

i didnt check to see if someone already said it but...


Chuck Norris sleeps with the lights on not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas